got you on speed dial now | offshoots

[ludia]

 [ continued from here ]

Comments

[ludia]

so stop + come have sex with meeeee

[offshoots]

Do you even know how to be subtle?! That's sexy! Being subtle!

[ludia]

i was being subtle and u weren't getting it!!

[ by which she means - you didn't answer her ]

[offshoots]

That wasn't subtle you just spammed my inbox with eggplants and sparkles!

[ludia]

i thought you might not understand it

the 🍆 means penis

[offshoots]

I GOT THAT. [his hands are on his face. better just cut to the chase here. as they both know, she doesn't know subtle.] There's no "next time", okay?

[ludia]

bc the next time is now

oh you don't know my room do you? well why didn't you just say that!

[ hope you can follow the directions which include "turn right when you reach the nice window" and "don't take the elevator it has a weird smell" ]

robin doesn't understand nero's cuteness but i do

[offshoots]

[what the hell are these directions it doesn't matter!] I'm not going. [now he won't respond again for another hour. HE'S COOKING.]

1/?

[ludia]

😤😤😤😤

RUDE

2/?

[ludia]

[ five minutes later ]

i'm still waiting!!!!!

3/?

[ludia]

[ another few minutes ]

✨ANSWER ME✨

4/?

[ludia]

YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHY U WERE AVOIDING ME DO I HAVE TO ASK BB

5/?

[ludia]

[ not even five seconds later ]

WHATS BBs NUMBER

6/6

[ludia]

[ and just then he might be thinking finally. finally she's stopped. he's free.

Robin's getting pictures now ]

[offshoots]

[Ibaraki has a lot of questions regarding Robin's phone. which won't stop making noise. his irritation rises with each bell chime. he can't take it anymore. he just needs to tell her to sTOP TEXTING OR HE'S BLOCKING HER NUMBER. he opens his phone angrily and there's a picture instead of eggplant emoji. it catches him off-guard. ah... well. that's. definitely a little sexier than eggplants and sparkles.] Don't you ever let up?

[ludia]

[ nope! ]

[ludia]

[ and now. the big guns. ]

i thought u had fun time last time...... :C

[offshoots]

[this is both an improvement but also worse. he never noticed how green her eyes are... Robin knows he's being manipulated with that line (and the pictures) but god damn it, it works.] I told you. I'm busy right now. And I'm not gonna come to your every beck and call, whenever you want me. Are you telling me if I had contacted you with peach and tree emojis you would rush over?

1/3

[ludia]

NO but that's why i am the emperor

i bet if iberekri asked u to come u would!!!!

2/3

[ludia]

*ibearaki

3/3

[ludia]

*ibaraki???

[offshoots]

[well. he actually cracks a small grin at her typoes. doesn't last.] I didn't have a choice with her. She found me and started dragging me down the halls. You found me in the tree too, remember?

[ludia]

oh so are u one of those ppl that can only be turned on if theyre beaten up first?

[offshoots]

NO!!! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

[ludia]

so then how can u b 2 busy to come b with me but u can answer all my messages???

do u just not want to see me?? 😢